A late night farewell

[pierrot_martyr]

The cold corridors of the Black Order seemed particularly desolate on this night. A fact that Allen was quite thankful for considering his unofficial quest he'd taken for himself. Lenalee had been behaving strangely over the past few days, even avoiding him or dodging his concerned questions. Usually he would take that as an answer and simply give her the space she seemingly demanded. But the look in her eyes. That was not the look of someone content with their life. No there was something dark, a shadow over her usually radiant gaze. So he steeled his resolve and decided to confront her directly.

He crept past the golems and the few guards on patrol until finally he arrived at his destination. A life of crime under Cross had given him the skills to get into most places he honestly really should not be in. That included the closed room belonging to a certain angel of the Order.

A bobby pin and bit of wire is all it took before a quick click sounded out and he darted into the room, closing the door tightly behind him in case one of the golems came back right then and there.

Comments

[withresolve]

Lenalee was packing for what was probably her last mission. Only a few members of the Order higher up the chain of command knew about it. She couldn't tell her brother...he would forbid her to go. And if she told Kanda, or Lavi, or especially Allen, they would either try to stop her or insist on following her.

So she pulled back a bit, distancing herself, not wanting anyone to see the fear or sorrow she felt. She had written letters to her loved ones that asked them not to worry, and to forgive her. And she had also said goodbye to most of them in her own special way.

Except Allen. She couldn't approach him because he would see right through a fake smile and laugh.

Of course, her plan had backfired. Lenalee wasn't as surprised as she should have been to hear her lock being picked and her door opening and closing.

She closed her pack, grabbed a robe to cover herself since she only wore a short nightgown and slippers right now, then turned around.

"Allen Walker! You didn't even knock! This isn't like you at all. Get out right now!"

Though she tried to sound angry, it was difficult. Lenalee didn't want her last interaction with Allen to be an argument.

[pierrot_martyr]

Of all the possible greetings, this harsh rebuke was not even a possibility in his mind. Lenalee didn't have a truly mean bone in her body and he knew that all too well. So Allen was struck speechless for a moment before he frowned harshly in return, feeling wronged even though objectively speaking she had a point. he did just pick her door and intrude into her room in the middle of the night.

"I'm not going anywhere. If I did all this to meet you at last, then I am certainly not leaving without some answers! What is wrong, Lenalee?! You've been avoiding not only me but Lavi and Kanda as well!" Allen was trying not to raise his voice back at her, trying very hard at that since a yelling match would draw attention from outside for sure.

[withresolve]

Lenalee felt bad for scolding him like that. She knew he was worried about her. But she couldn't have him interfering.

"Don't raise you're voice like that," she said reasonably. "I've been keeping to myself because I have an important mission coming up." She gestured to the packed bag beside her. "Does that satisfy your curiosity?"

[pierrot_martyr]

Oh? AN actual asnwer now?! This constant change in shift was throwing him off center and he wasn't sure how to respond to each sudden train of thought jumping tracks to the other.

"A mission? What kind of mission? Why would that make you just keep to yourself. THis isn't making any sense." Allen shook his head and walked up To Lenalee. His instincts were starting to scream at him that something was very off here. Something very bad indeed. It...almost felt like there was a gulf starting to appear between himself and Lenalee and that...terrified him.

[withresolve]

"Allen..."

She sighed. This was what she had wanted to avoid. Lenalee looked down at the robe in her hands as he approached.

"I can't talk about it," she said. "Just...please, don't keep prying." This was said firmly.

[pierrot_martyr]

"You can't talk about it?" That only made the cold fear grip his heart even tighter as he reached out for her hand to take hold of it as if to ground Lenaele from the shadow looming over her.

"Is this...." HE was about to likely guess correctly if he finished that thought but he didn't want to. Because it felt like getting the confirmation would simply rob him of any hope to change anything. That powerlessness was terrifying. Especially when it came at the expense of someone he cared about like Lenalee.

[withresolve]

"No, I can't." She let him take her hand, squeezing it hard. Lenalee wasn't sure if she was offering reassurance or taking it.

It was a good thing that Allen didn't finish that thought. She didn't want it voiced, not here, not now. Lenalee couldn't dwell on the enormity of what she was about to do.

Couldn't think about how she would probably be dead within a week.

Instead, she dropped the robe she had been holding and pulled Allen into a hug. She didn't say a word because she didn't have to. He would understand.

Please hold me. I need you. I can't be alone right now.

[pierrot_martyr]

His greatest waekness had been Lenalee's distress. Her tears. He would do anything to prevent those from clouding her eyes and heart. Whatever this was, it was clear that Lenalee was being tormented by it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to ask when she was pleading with him. Her request was filled with such raw emotion he could not even think of denying her what she needed most.

He didn't understand but unlike the dream back in the china branch, this time he closed both arms around Lenalee as if she would just disappear if he didn't hold her tight.

"I would never let you be alone, Lenalee." That was how he came to be here after all. Because he refused to not overcome whatever was keeping her away from him.

[withresolve]

It really wasn't fair to Allen. Initiating something like this when she would be dead in a few days seemed cruel and selfish. Still...

Lenalee couldn't be perfect.

She pulled away and gazed into his eyes. Very slowly she reached up to caress his face, thumb brushing against his lips.

"Allen...will you kiss me?" Her voice was soft as silk, with just a bit of a tremble. "...You could stay the night."

It was up to him.

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen's eyes widened as Lenalee made a request unlike anything he had ever heard from her. Why? Why would she ask him to kiss her now?! The way she said it drove a stone to the pit of his stomach despite the faint warmth of her fingers against his cheek.

"I...Lenalee. Are you asking me to..." He couldn't finish that thought as his face was now burning bright red from the implications of being asked to stay the night with her. He would be lying if he said that the thought did not...tug at him to say yes.

[withresolve]

Lenalee had never been that fragile and that vulnerable before. Her expression turned from sweet shyness to something much more guarded and pained. His hesitation told her that he did not want the same thing as she did.

She pulled away from him, a pained smile on her face. "Nevermind, please forget that. I...I need to finish packing, so..." In her haste to end that awkwardness, she tripped over her words.

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen's hand immediately grabbed onto her wrist and he pulled her back around. The moment her eyes turned so crestfallen, he had already acted, his first impulse to try and bring some comfort back to her heart and mind. So he brought her to his chest and hed her tightly.

"No! No I'll stay . I'll do anything for you Lenalee." It was likely something that could be interpreted as manipulative coming from Lenalee but Allen would allow himself to be manipulated if she actually needed it.

"Lenalee I want to be there for you. So anything you want me to do for you I will. Because...because you are that important to me Lenalee!"

[withresolve]

Lenalee would never try to manipulate someone. Her reactions were genuine, the sting of what she believed to be rejection was painfully real, and beneath it all was an ocean of fear and sadness.

When Allen grabbed her wrist to pull her back she blinked, surprised, then pulled away once more.

"Don't do that, Allen." The pain she felt in her heart could be heard in her voice. "I thought that you..."

She trailed off, unable to finish that thought.

"I don't need your pity. I'm fine, Allen. You can go."

It was plain to see that she wasn't fine, but Lenalee's pride kept her from letting her guard down again.

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen didn't let her pull back and instead pulled her back around and get her to look at him. Because he would not allow her to believe this was all onesided.

"It is not pity! Lenalee my feelings for you are older than whatever is troubling you right now. You...I...just..." He closed his eyes and mustered the courage to. "I love you, Lenalee! With all of my heart!" He was just blurting it all out now. Because if he wasn't going to say it now it felt like he would not have the chance.

[withresolve]

Lenalee began to pull away but stopped when she saw the look on his face. And when he spoke those words aloud...it felt like a punch to the gut.

"...No," she said quietly, her voice sounding strained. If things were different...she may have confessed her own love for him. But saying that now wouldn't have been fair. "No, you don't, Allen. Only as a friend. Okay?"

With that said, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek, oblivious to the tears that had escaped on her own face. "Thank you for...for everything."

[pierrot_martyr]

Something cracked as he saw those tears. This was not supposed to be like this. He was meant to comfort her and help her. Instead she was now crying. She'd asked for a kiss. He gave her his heart and that instead had only harmed her more.

"Lenalee...please don't...push me away." He wanted to be there for her. SO rather than let her pull away, he suddenly leaned forward and kissed her full on the lips, desperate to convey just how true his words were.

[withresolve]

It wasn't his heart that had harmed her. It was the fact that she had gotten a glimpse of what she could have had, a glimpse of what could have been. It hurt so much...

This was all wrong. She should be grinning and joyful, not crying and full of fear. But there was no time to fix this, to start over.

Lenalee returned the kiss, eyes closed while tears still fell, clinging to him desperately. When the kiss broke, she whispered, "I won't push you away, not tonight."

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen pushed back into another kiss after nodding to her words and his hands gently took hold of Lenalee's hips as he made her take steps back deeper into the room. After a while though the bed would hit the back of her legs and unless they stopped, she would likely end up falling over on her back while their lips were still joined in a clumsy but desperately passionate kiss.

[withresolve]

Lenalee allowed Allen to lead her, backwards, to her bed. She held him to her tightly as she kissed him desperately, not wanting to let go.

When her legs bumped against the bed, she pulled him down with her, on top of her. Only one night...that was all she had with him. At least she wouldn't be living long without him.

[pierrot_martyr]

He doesn't really know how it came to be like this but it was clear that he needed to do something and that something was to give Lenalee something. Something of him it seemed as he was suddenly on top of Lenalee, his eyes wide for a moment as he gazed at Lenalee, hair splayed out underneath her before hs closed his eyes again and leaned down for another kiss, this time nipping at her lip while his hand settled over her stomach. Just to touch or hold her in some way as he followed the instincts he had never obeyed in the past.

"Lenalee..." He breathes her name betweek their joined lips and he pushes his hips down against her leg.

[withresolve]

Her eyes were just as wide as his as she gazed back at him. With her hair splayed out, cheeks flushed, her breasts straining against the sheer nightgown, and hem riding up her thigh, Lenalee looked exquisite.

Allen kissed her again, nipping at her lip, making her gasp. His hand on her stomach excited her, as he pushed his hips against her leg.

Lenalee wanted to make the most of her time with him. "...Will you touch me, Allen?" she asked shyly. "I want to be closer to you..."

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen's gaze was growing heated by the moment as he admired the view before him. He had dreams like this. He was still a young man with interests. Curiosities. The desire to feel another. It was battling his desire to just make sure he comforted Lenalee. Selfishness and selflessness.

Yet her body language drew him like a moth to the flame and he nodded slowly before pushing his hand up and tugging at her gown until it lifted over her hips.

"Just...tell me if I am touching anywhere I shouldn't" Allen asked softly while his other hand snuck in under her back.

[withresolve]

Lenalee could feel her heart beat faster as he began to push her nightgown up. For a moment she let go of him and helped pull it up further, just beneath her breasts. Her silk panties were revealed, along with her smooth stomach. A few scars here and there from fighting had turned white against her creamy skin.

"You may touch me anywhere you want, Allen," she murmured. "As long as you want to. Only if you want to." She was serious about that. He had seemed hesitant before, and that still bothered her.

[pierrot_martyr]

His hesitation stemmed from the fact that all of this was so sudden. Not from lack of wanting such intimacy especially after he'd given his confession. His hands paused for a moment before running along the sometimes smooth sometimes scarred skin. Every inch was beautiful in his eyes and shortly after, his motions grew a little more confident.

"I do want to. I just I'm not sure about what I am doing exactly." He wanted to be good for her. The situation was bad enough as is so he didn't want to make a blunder and ruin it all for her. Even in the middle of the confusion he felt that was a constant which made it all the clear just how deep his feelings for her actually ran that they could overcome the mystery.

"Lenalee. I have....I want to...I want...you."

[withresolve]

That made her smile. "There aren't many wrong ways to do it." She reached up to tug him down for a kiss. "You could start by undressing, too." The desire was apparent in her voice.

His touch made her shiver. When Allen told her that he wanted her, her smile turned just a bit sad. This was selfish of her. Sleeping with him would make things harder for him after...

After.

"I want you, too, Allen. So very, *very* much." And with that said she sat up just enough to pull her nightgown off and over her head, revealing her breasts.

[pierrot_martyr]

"Oh...yes you are right." Allen nodded shyly before he started undoing his bow tie and shirt only getting half way htrough before he saw her pull the nightgown off of her young breathtaking body. Their time was short and yet he still had to admire the breathtaking sight before him. If only he could actually see her smile as well, he would actually be stunned speechless. He wasn't even thinking about how he would handle what came after. All that was on his mind was to try and give Lenalee what she desperately needed. Preferably if he could get a genuine smile without sadness for her.

"You can touch me too. I...want to feel your hands on me as well." Allen said before he lowered his mouth to a still covered breast and he slowly pressed kiss after kiss to the supple flesh while his hands smoothed from her stomach towards her thighs, stroking in passing past her undergarments still covering her lower half.

[withresolve]

Lenalee hadn't even said a word about what exactly she was about to di, but she thought that Allen had picked up on part if it. At the very least, he knew it was serious. If he knew just how bleak her chance at survival was, she thought he would either try to stop her or follow her.

She watched him undress halfway with hungry eyes, wanting to memorize every detail. Allen lowered his head to kiss her body, hands stroking down to her thighs. It made her sigh, and she could feel her body warming beneath his touch.

Lenalee ran her hands over his chest, caressing his nipples, then his scars. "Does this feel good?" She asked quietly.

[pierrot_martyr]

Considering how she was acting, he still intended to do just that. That was why in a sense humoring each other's desires was just as much for the needs of the heart as well as to create an opening where he could actually follow her wherever she was going. At least that was his initial intent. But once he got started, once he felt his hands on her, her soft warm body under his own, those thoughts grew....muddled and unfocused.

"It does. Lenalee I want to...make you feel good too." And suddenly he lowers his head again this time darting his tongue out to gently lap at the hardened pearl pressing up through her bra. "Can I take this off? " He asked after he'd gotten a wet patch to form with just licking. Somewhere along the line he'd started moving his hips in a slow way against her leg as well, slowly working himself up at the same time as he hardened inside of his pants more and more.

[withresolve]

Lenalee gasped as he began teasing her nipple through her bra "Ohh..." At the same time she shifted this way and that on the bed, feeling the sensations all the way down in her core.

"Yes, you can..." The pads of her fingers slowly circled his nipples, and she moved her leg to help stimulate him even more.

[pierrot_martyr]

Oh that voice. She could sound like that too it seemed. It made Allen wish he could actualy take his time and explore to see what kind of voices Lenalee could make on top of that.

Instead the moment she allowed him to take things further he moved both hands up under her back, feeling around for the clasp of her bra. He had never stripped a girl of her clothes so he was flying blind here but he presumed from what he saw, that this was the right way to go about it. Lenalee wasn't making it easy though as she raised her knee up into his groin, drawing out a loud moan from Allen as he pushed into her leg. "L-Lena..." Allen groaned, eyes falling shut just as he finally managed to get the bra off and the garment went slack over her orbs.

"You are...everything feels so hot. I want to feel more of you~"

[withresolve]

Unclasping a bra wasn't as complicated as people made it out to be. As soon as it was unfastened, she removed it. Her full breasts were a lovely sight, with stiff, rosy nipples. She felt more than a little self-conscious.

"Then go ahead...feel more of me. And -- tell me how to make you feel good, too." Lenalee was blushing quite hard.

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen had no time to pause in awe though his eyes did widen a bit when she was finally revealed. This was Lenalee's body. In all of its glory. No scars could ever be a blemish on such natural artistry. Allen nodded then lowered his head to gently lap at one of the nipples while he hummed the move she pressed her leg up into his groin. Those legs that could crush steel were now so close to such a vulnerable part of him.

"You can...take off everything else I have for a start." Allen suggested, looking up to Lenalee from just beyond her breast. After all his hands were busy with his inhuman arm fisting against her nightgown while his human one gently roamed along her sides before cupping the other breast as well to give it some attention.

[withresolve]

It was impossible to hold still as Allen began teasing her breasts again. With somewhat shaky hands, she reached for his pants and began to unbuckle them, unbutton, and unzip. She tugged downward, to get the pants to fall at his feet. Then, rather shyly, she caressed him through his undergarments.

[pierrot_martyr]

Allen's voice melted into a throaty moan the moment she touched him like that. His boxers were still in the way and yet the touch was already making his mind grow hazy. He was flying completely blind and yet it already felt so good. Not good. This was supposed to be about Lenalee. Once he remembered that, Allen decided to test the water as his teeth gently squeezed the nipple that had been between his lips until that point.

"Lenalee~" He cooed and moaned, her name like a prayer that he could chant unto his dying breath with how it made his feelings well beyond reason.